Saturday, April 16, 2011

Video Blogging, My Story Part 1.

So, I've been a fan of youtube since its creation, and I've been a fan of the internet since I got a WebTV back when I was still in single digits. I've also been into expressing myself in many different mediums but I'd never considered film.

In 2006 a news story broke on Lonelygirl15, a youtube blogger who was a production. I became enthralled-over the next few years I would go on to create youtube accounts and interact with the characters as well as branch out to other webseries.

Though as the years went on, on a personal level, I was trapped in high school. A secretive quiet kid, still in the closet with a past that's as fractured and complicated as poorly-constructed simile. I was so tired of hiding every little thing, and I hated myself for the lies that my mind began to eat away at itself, and so for the first time I used youtube to describe the way I felt:

As I sledged through my depression and ended high school, I looked forward to the future of college-having at the very least found someone or something to tell my feelings to. It's interesting how most people find themselves privatizing what they put on the internet, but in my case the opposite is found.

I went to orientation with little sleep and anger at the fact I had been forced to go so late by my mother, but a surprise was waiting for me. Hope was born that day through a chain of events that led to my salvation.

I met a fellow videoblogger.

1 comment:

  1. PJ...this is a lovely beginning to your story. I love the sentence that begins "A secretive quiet kid . . . " Your humor comes through even when talking about being depressed.

    So, how old were you when you made this video? I'm bd at math and at guessing ages. It's really evocative.

    Your journey to self-expression through video-blogging is amazing to me. It parallels very much my own drive to write as adolescent, but because it is not something I have tried to do, I'm so impressed at your creativity and ability to share like this. I wrote poetry in strictly private journals as a young teen, and never would have shared them even anonymously.